Two Stories for Mothers' Day
Sermon by Steve Edington
May 14, 2006
In conversations with my ministerial colleagues over the years on how we arrive at our sermon themes, I've noticed something of a consensus that exists when it comes to the category of "Sermon Topic Most Often Avoided." Hands down, the prize in that area goes to Mothers' Day; or more specifically, a sermon about mothers on Mothers' Day. Why this is so may not seem all that apparent at first. How can you go wrong talking about mothers? Well there are ways: Praise mothers too much, and too uncritically, and you invite flak from anyone who has some unpleasant "mommy issues" they do not wish to be reminded of except when they're discussing them with their therapist. But if you speak in any way to some of those kinds of mommy issues, you invite flak from those who don't have them and figure they don't need to hear about them; because their mothers were just fine and wonderful, thank you very much. And what about those women who by choice or circumstance aren't mothers? Are you dissing them by extolling the virtues of motherhood? And how about those moms who are maybe less than thrilled about being moms, or feel they haven't quite cut it as a mother, and don't want to hear about how great it all is? And if you're going to talk about traditional family structure mothers, then shouldn't you also acknowledge and validate single moms and same sex moms and all the other variations on motherhood that are out there?
So on it goes. What may seem like a pretty safe subject on the surface, becomes - upon closer inspection - a veritable mine-field. I tend to go with the idea that the best way to avoid a no-win situation is to not put yourself into one in the first place, so clearly the path of least resistance here is to skip the Mothers' Day sermon altogether - and work in a few motherly references or tributes in some other part of the service. This, in fact, has been for me the road most taken when it come to the second Sunday of May. But this year I've decided to take the road less traveled by, thank you Mr. Frost, and see where it takes me and us.
The first place I'd like it to take us is into history, and to two stories about two (actually three) women. They are two stories about how we've come to have a Mothers' Day observance in the first place. On the surface they appear to be somewhat contradictory, but upon closer inspection they're more closely related than one might think. They are the stories of two very different women - different when it comes to their social status, education, and place in history - but they are stories that also have an interesting kind of convergence, when seen in a certain light. They are the stories of Julia Ward Howe and Anna Marie Jarvis. Each of these women is credited with the founding of Mothers' Day; and in ways I hope to explain they each deserve their share of the credit with neither one of them getting all of it.
This being a Unitarian Universalist congregation, I'm guessing the name Julia Ward Howe has more name recognition to it - after all, she was one of us - so I'll start with her. She was born in 1819 into a New York City family of comfort and ease, which was somewhat offset by its strict Calvinist theology and ethic. Her father was a banker. In her teenage years the precocious Julia's thinking took a more liberal turn, and at age 21 she married Samuel Gridley Howe, a Boston physician and Unitarian. She and her husband became a part of the Boston Unitarian Transcendentalist circle in the pre-Civil War years that coalesced around Ralph Waldo Emerson. They were much influenced by the preaching of their Unitarian minister, Rev. Theodore Parker, who was also an ardent Abolitionist. Julia became very devoted to the Abolitionist cause and wanted to take public stands on its behalf. Her husband, being more of a traditionalist, felt she should remain strictly at home raising their six children. For this and other reasons their marriage was not always a happy one.
By the time the Civil War broke out, however, both Samuel and Julia became involved in the work of the Sanitary Commission - the forerunner organization of the Red Cross - in tending to the war wounded. The Boston doctor and his activist minded wife worked together. By now Julia had also become a published poet. And it was while visiting an encampment of the Union Army near Washington in 1862, and seeing Union Soldiers preparing to go into battle, that Julia Ward Howe wrote the words to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic." It reflected her fierce abolitionist sentiments to the point that she wrote of how the Lord Himself was behind the Union cause, and was "trampling out vintages" and wielding a "terrible swift sword" and loosening "fateful lightning." This was only one of many poems she wrote and saw published in her day. Practically all of the others have been lost to obscurity, but the Battle Hymn of the Republic has clearly endured.
As best I can determine Mrs. Howe never disavowed the sentiments she expressed in Battle Hymn of the Republic, but as the war went on, and as she continued to be involved in the treatment of the wounded and the psychologally damaged soldiers, she gained another perspective on warfare that was far less exalted than how she portrayed it in her best known poem and song. Even if it was being fought, ostensibly, for all the "right" reasons - the outcome of war, in terms of its human toll, was horrifying. The result was that Julia Howe became as ardent a peace activist as she had been an abolitionist. And as her abolitionist sentiments gave rise to an even wider sense of the meaning of freedom, and she also became an strong advocate for women's suffrage. These combined passions of hers were what let to her efforts in the latter years of her life to rally women - mothers and otherwise - to the cause of peace.
It was out of these efforts that the Julia Ward Howe version, or story, of Mothers' Day came about. In 1870, five years after our Civil War ended, the Franco-Prussian War broke out, and she used that occasion to attempt to rally women world-wide to the cause of finding peaceful resolutions to conflicts. She wrote a ringing proclamation that she wanted to deliver at international peace conferences in London and Paris, but was prevented from doing so by the conference organizers because she was a woman. So she got her own hall instead.
As part of her peace efforts she issued a proclamation, written in the flowery prose American nineteenth century literature, which included these words: "Arise all women who have hearts...Our husbands will not come to us reeking of carnage for [our] applause. Our sons will not be taken from us to unlearn all we have taught them of charity , mercy and patience. We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs." And then in counterpoint language to what she'd penned in Batte Hymn, she wrote: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice." I find it interesting that the Lord's "terrible swift sword" has now become the "sword of murder." The reason for Julia Ward Howe issuing this Proclamation, on June 2, 1870, was to call for a Mother's Day for Peace, which she envisioned as an international peace festival. My friend and ministerial colleague, Rev. Forrest Church, suggests Mrs. Howe went with the term Mothers' Day to "remind us that the whole world would be a better place if only everyone might rise to the challenge of motherhood; nurturing life, fostering peace, and giving love."
The June 2nd date was indeed celebrated in this fashion in some American Cities - sometimes in conjunction with Womens' Suffrage events - in the years after 1870. It's sentiments as expressed by Julia Ward Howe are still worthy, of course, of celebration today. Today more than ever, I would say, given the state of our world. But these were not the events that directly led to the Mothers' Day we now celebrate on the second Sunday of May. For that we turn to our second Mothers' Day story.
This is the story of two women, actually, who had the same name - Anna Jarvis - a mother and her daughter. Let's start with the mother, the elder Anna. She was born Anna Reeves a few years later than was Julia Ward, but world away both in terms of geography and status. Anna Reeves was born in Appalachia, in the western mountainous country of what was then the State of Virginia. She was of very modest means. Her father was a Methodist minister, and she in turn married a Methodist minister named Granville Jarvis.
While she had no formal education in matters of health and medicine, Mrs. Jarvis became very concerned about the health and sanitary conditions in the small Appalachian towns in which she lived as her husband was moved from one church to another. Anna Jarvis began to organize what she called Mothers' Day Work Clubs in the towns where her husband had his pastorates.Among other services these clubs raised money for medicine, hired women to work for families in which the mothers suffered from tuberculosis, and inspected bottled milk and food. No doubt, these efforts on her part saved lives. Anna and Granville lost four of their own children to childhood diseases, and this fueled Anna's passion to do what she could to save other mothers and fathers from the agony and distress she and her husband experienced when some of their children died. Then the Civil War came, and like Julia Ward Howe, Anna Jarvis' life was shaped by that conflict.
We take a time-out now for a brief interlude of West Virginia history which I had to learn when I was in third grade, I think. As the Civil War got underway the people living in the western hill country of the State of Virginia realized that their leanings were more with the Union than they were with the Confederacy. Unlike some of their fellow Virginians to the southeast with their large plantations, the folks in northwestern Virginia were mostly dirt farmers ekeing out whatever living they could from the land. Very few of them owned slaves. Fighting for an institution, and a way of life, that had little bearing on their lives made increasingly little sense. So in the course of the Civil War the west Virginians seceeded from the secessionist Confederacy and became a Union State, the 35th State - the State of West Virginia. Abraham Lincoln himself signed the statehood document.
Back to Ann Jarvis, the elder: When the Civil War ended she was living in the town of Grafton, West Virginia where her husband was the local Methodist minister. Since that part of the country had changed sides during the Civil War there were soldiers returning who had fought on opposite sides, and this generated a fair amount of tension and conflict in their communities. Anna Jarvis decided to take action. In the summer of 1865, one year after the war ended she orgainzed in her community a Mother's Friendship Day to bring together the soldiers who had fought on both sides, in the hope that some reconciliation could be found and that they could get on with their lives. Some feared there would be fights and violence but the event was a success and Mother's Friendship Day became an annual event in that part of West Virginia for several years hence. Like Julia Ward Howe, Mrs. Jarvis invoked the name Mothers' Day as a way of promoting peace and reconciliation for the returning veterans of the Civil War.
Anna's husband died in 1902 and she moved from Grafton to live with one of her daughters, also - as noted - named Anna Jarvis, who was by then living near Philadelphia, which is where the elder Anna died in May of 1905. Two years later daughter Anna went back to Grafton to lead a tribute to her mother at the Methodist church where her father had been the minister. Following that service Anna Jarvis the daughter - who never married and never had any children of her own - began her crusade to have a national Mothers' Day recognized. And since her mother's favorite flower was the white carnation, she asked the women who were observing Mothers' Day to wear a white carnation.
After six years of the younger Anna Jarvis' working on members of Congress, President Woodrow Wilson signed a Congressional Proclamation designating Mothers' Day as an official holiday to be celebrated on the Second Sunday of May. If you're ever in Grafton, West Virginia (as I have been on a few occasions) you can check out the plaque on the Methodist Church proclaiming that the first Mother's Day was celebrated there on May 12, 1907. I know the Julia Ward Howe School of Mothers' Day Origin advocates for the June 2, 1870 date when Mrs. Howe issued her Peace Proclamation. But instead of having that argument let's take a closer look at these two stories.
In considering the two it is the contrasts that are most often noted: The peace and social justice activist Julia Ward Howe attempting to rally mothers to a good and righteous cause versus the gushy, mushy flowers and cards holiday that has grown out of Anna Jarvis' desire to honor her mother. But that's too superficial; and it's a false dichotomy to boot. For one thing, Miss Jarvis - in her final years before her death in 1948 - became frustrated and disillusioned with what happened to the holiday she'd work so hard to bring about. Her objective had been not just to honor her mother for being a mother - critically important as that was to her - but it was also to honor her for her humanitarian and her reconciliation efforts in the little West Virginia communities where she'd lived.
The daugher Anna saw in her mother an example and an inspiration of how - even in a very small and obscure part of the world - one could work for the greater common good. Miss Jarvis, in fact, became so upset with the commercialization of what she regarded as "her holiday" that she once referred to Mother's Day cards as "a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write." Okay - full disclosure time. I sent my Mother a card, as I've done on every Mothers' Day that I can remember. But I also e-mailed her a Mothers Day greeting this morning, which maybe Miss Jarvis would accept as the letter I'm not too lazy to write. Ah, probably not.
Be all that as it may, here's the common message I take from these two stories on this Mothers Day of 2006: Both Julia Ward Howe and the elder Anna Jarvis were very loving and devoted mothers to their children, for which they and all such mothers deserve recognition and respect. In Mrs. Jarvis' case her love and devotion was accompanied by the deep pain of losing several of her children in their early years - a pain that no parent should have to experience, even though many do. And, devoted and loving mothers that they were, neither Mrs. Howe nor Mrs. Jarvis let themselves be completely defined by their role as a mother. They each had a larger vision, a larger passion, and a larger commitment that certainly encompassed being a mother but also looked beyond it to whatever greater good they could accomplish for the greater human family of which they, and all of us, are a part.
Because of her social standing, and her access to some of the upper reaches of the society and culture in which she lived, Julia Ward Howe could command a larger hearing, and gain a greater response, for her efforts. She could issue a proclamation and have it heard and printed and widely distributed, so people would rally to her cause. She was, after all, Julia Ward Howe, author of The Battle Hymn of the Republic, and the matriarch of a well-to-do and prestigious Boston family. She did good where she could with the resources she had. She is to be honored and praised on this day, and on all days, for using the station in life she had for the greater good of humanity when it comes to advancing the cause of peace and justice.
Now consider the elder Mrs. Anna Jarvis. She did not have the platform or the standing or the prestige that Julia Ward Howe did. She was a minister's wife - and the mother of their twelve children - living in several small Appalachian villages in the mid-nineteenth century. She used what station in life she had in those little towns to bring about some measure of healing and some measure of reconciliation within them. She did good where she could with the resources she had. And we only know of her goodness because of the daughter who bore her name, and who did not want her mother's deeds to fade into obscurity. In a very real sense, the elder Anna Jarvis represents all those deeds of kindness and compassion and concern that women render in the communities in which they live and work, and - in the case of the mothers - raise and care for their children. Such deeds are scarcely noticed beyond the people directly affected by them. They are no less important nonetheless.
Finally, both Julia Ward Howe and Mrs. Anna Jarvis drew upon the foundations and principles of their faith communities and traditions in finding inspiration and guidance for their good works. They were both women of faith. For Julia Ward Howe it was the sermons and the teachings of her Unitarian minister, Rev. Theodore Parker, who portrayed Jesus as a radical social reformer of his day. This was where Mrs. Howe took her cue for her own social reform efforts. I know considerably less - well, actually I know nothing - about the Methodist theology and preaching of the Rev. Granville Jarvis. I know he did not have the Harvard education that the Rev. Parker did; none of those Appalachian mountain preachers did then. So I can only guess that in the stories of how Jesus took his ministry of teaching, healing, and compassion to the common, underclass, folk of his day, Mrs. Jarvis took her cue for her own work with the common and struggling folk of her day.
What these two women and mothers had in common, I feel, was a vision and a desire for a reconciled human family. This is the vision and the desire we should all be striving towards in whatever great or small ways we can, using whatever means and resources that are available to us. This is the vision we should be setting before our children - whether they be biological children, or children whose lives we are given the opportunity to influence in some way. In this latter sense we all have kids. We all have our chances to have an impact upon the generations that come of age after us. So as we seek out those opportunities, and act on these kinds of responsibilities, let us also keep in mind the words of our closing hymn: "We Would Be One."
Stephen D. Edington
May 14, 2006
