Growing up Black in NH

Sermon by Melanie Levesque
January 16, 2005

Introduction

Thank you for inviting me to speak on this Sunday before Martin Luther King Day. It is always a privilege and a pleasure to speak before members of the Unitarian Church. When Steve asked me to speak about my experiences growing up in NH I initially thought there was not much of a story. I look back on my years growing up were pretty positive. Granted life was not always easy but in reflection I grew up in a great neighborhood, have had a myriad of wonderful friends and family, co-founded a successful business, and am proud to call NH my home.

I can not speak for the experiences of all blacks in NH as everyone has a different perspective. I come from a family of 6 children and we all have our own perspectives.

Upon further consideration I thought this was a wonderful opportunity to share experiences, raise issues, and celebrate the civil rights movement and the accomplishments of Dr. King.

Growing up in NH

My Parents, Rupel and Betty Perkins moved from Ohio to Boston MA where my mother studied at Beth Israel Hospital and my father worked as a draftsman. In the early 60s my father was offered a position at Sanders Associates and moved my 2 brothers and I to Nashua. There were only a handful of black families in Nashua at the time. We lived in an apartment house on Thayer Court. A few years later we moved to our home on Durham St. I recall my mother had once showed me the house she initially wanted and explained the realtor would not sell to my parents because they were black. Many years later I learned that my father was able to purchase our house and go around the realtors with the help of his peers from Sanders.

We were living the American Dream until my parents divorced when I was 7. This left my mother to bring up 6 children on her own. She always worked very hard both in her career as a Dietician and providing for our family. I felt very fortunate to have her as a role model.

As I grew up, I encountered very few instances of blatant prejudice. Once in elementary school someone called me a Nigger. I cried to my mother and asked why. She explained that people say things out of ignorance and assured me that I was just a good if not better than the next person.

In Jr. High school I recall a boy named David called me a "Nigger". I immediately went to the principal and told him it was unacceptable. I never heard that word from him again.

In the 60's and early 70's the standards of beauty were not geared to African Americans and there were very few role models for young black girls. Remember the saying blonds have more fun. Well I was not blond then! My childhood friends told me that if I wanted to be white like them, all I had to do was pray in front of the sink and it would happen. I only did that once. I am happy to say that I am proud of my skin color. I don't have to work on the perfect tan. I am proud of my thick lips that today women pay hundreds of dollars for collagen treatments. Thank fully today's role models come in every nationality, shape, and size.

After high school I started dating Scott, my husband. Early on we found out that his parents opposed our relationship because I was black. They insisted he break up with me or be banished from the family. Well Scott and I broke up... for about 24 hours. We did not see anything wrong with our relationship. We were in love and had lots in common. We also had a strong support system in our friends who accepted our relationship unconditionally. Sometime later I would learn that when I was born interracial relationships were illegal in some states. Even as recently as 2000 the law against interracial marriage was stricken from the books in the state of Georgia.

Growing up in a state with few minorities, it was not uncommon to be the only person of color in a room. I was not bothered by this but simply made the observation. It was never a problem making friends or acquaintances. Some of the philosophies that helped me throughout my life were very basic.

Philosophies like:

Finding the common ground: - If you talk to a person long enough you are bound to find commonality. This is how we build friendships, relationships and bridges. In October I canvassed for voter registration with Ellen. We started the canvassing as strangers but quickly got to know each other.

Don't look for barriers or obstacles: If you look find a problem, if you look for someone to be prejudice, or if you look to fail. You certainly will. This doesn't me you go through life with blinders on but don't let the challenges blind you from your goals.

People can only accept what you let them. My mother in law is an 87 year old French woman who has come a long way. My in laws now treat my entire family as if it were their own, love their granddaughter Logan, and embraces the union of my brother and his partner. They have come far in 20 years and could not have done so if we did introduce them to different situations.

Speak out and take action when you disagree: My husband Scott spoke with actions when he did not agree with his parents. I give him much credit for not giving in to status quo and suffering through the estrangement of his family to be with me. Rosa Park spoke out when she refused to sit in the back of the bus. You and I have the power to speak out against things we disagree with.

Lastly Smile: Smiling is a great way to let people know you are friendly, It a great conversation starter and immediately brings down peoples defenses.

I am reading the Autobiography of Martin Luther King and can not help but be moved by this man. A man who grew up in the segregated south. A man who experienced first hand a life where blacks were treated like second class citizens in a place where laws were created to suppress and humiliate blacks, eating at separate lunch counters, drinking out of separate fountains, and riding in separate sections of the bus.

In 1951 Dr. King entered Boston Universities School of Theology He found acceptance amongst his peers and professors and experienced many advantages he had been deprived of in the segregated south. However he did encounter forms of subtle prejudice. Dr. King states: "I remember very well trying to find a place to live. I went into place after place where there were signs that rooms were for rent. They were for rent until they found out I was a Negro, and suddenly they had just been rented." (Much like the experience my parents had).

Upon Graduating from College Dr. King had career prospects in New York, Massachusetts, Chicago, and Atlanta's Dexter Avenue Baptist Church were he accepted a position as pastor.

Although hesitant about returning to the south, Martin and his wife Correta felt they had a moral obligation to return. An obligation to do something about the problems they had encountered in their youth.

It was Martin Luther King's destiny to speak out against injustices in word and deed. You can not help but admire the nonviolent philosophies DR. KING followed. These philosophies were based on the teachings of Gandhi and Thoreau. When arrested for fabricated infractions such as loitering and boycotting. DR. KING chose to do the time rather than pay the fine. He stated that he was proud of his crime.

"It was the crime of joining my people in a nonviolent protest against injustice. It was a crime of seeking to instill within my people a sense of dignity and self respect. It was the crime of desiring for my people the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It was above all the crime of seeking to convince my people that non cooperation with evil is just as much a moral duty as is the cooperation with good!"

As I read about Rosa Parks, Marches in Selma and Birmingham and the March on Washington I am acutely aware that others marched and fought so that we could have freedom and equality. Being too young to take part in the civil rights movement of the early 60's I often wondered, If I been an adult at that time what role would I have played. Would I be marching or would I stay home. What role would you have played? I would like to think that we would be marching and fighting for freedom and equality.

In the spring of 2003 I had heard that an NAACP group with forming in Nashua and was very excited about the prospects. I joined the effort to form the NAACP in Nashua and after a year of hard work building our membership we received our charter in February 2004. I currently serve as first Vice President.

The issues that we face today are not as blatant as segregation and lynching. Yet we do have issues of discrimination, racial profiling, and disenfranchisement that need to be addressed. If you think prejudice is all but dead I assure you it is not. A friend of mine told me a story of a woman who had her car serviced at a local garage. The woman complained that she would never bring her car back to that establishment because they let a black man service her car. This woman brought her complaint to management. The management quickly sided with their employee and were not bothered by the loss of this customers business. The bad news is that there is still prejudice the good news is that there are still good people who stand against it.

The NAACP is also in the business of being proactive and disseminating information that may be helpful to others. Last year during the presidential election, we coordinated events and participated in canvassing for voter empowerment. No, the issues are not like those of the 60's but when there is an issue we will be there to address it.

Closing

In closing, I would like to thank you once again for inviting me to speak. I must also reiterate that the experience of growing up black in NH is different for each person. Imagine a child living in Atlanta or Maryland where there are a lot more people of color. Then moving to NH a state in which 2% of the population is black and 11% are minorities. The experience would be very different from mine.

However regardless of where we came from, where we grew up, the color of our skin, our nationality, gender or sexual orientation. We are all benefactors of the civil rights movement. We owe a debt of gratitude not only to Dr. King but to people like Rosa Parks and fifty thousand Negro people in Montgomery , Alabama who came to discover that it is better to walk in dignity than to ride in busses, people like Chaney , Goodman and Scwerner who were slain for helping others pursue the right to vote, Four young girls who died in a Birmingham church and showed the world the innocence lost because of racism. Presidents Kennedy and Johnson, leaders that supported civil rights, and to the twenty million black and white who marched on Washington in the summer of 1963.

Martin Luther King had a dream... Let's continue to make the dream a reality.

Melanie Levesque
January 16, 2005