Could This Be Your Third Place?
Sermon by Steve Edington
October 2, 2011
Last Sunday, as a piece of my sermon, I shared what I called the "four landscapes" of my religious and spiritual odyssey. I got such a good response to what I had to say that I decided I'd return to that story now and then without, I hope, wearing it out. For this morning I can boil it down to one sentence: Over the course of six decades I've gone from borderline Christian fundamentalism to being, as I call myself now, a religious humanist and a Unitarian Universalist minister. Actually, I could boil it down even more by quoting seven well-known words from Jerry Garcia: "What a long, strange trip it's been."
If there's been one common thread in that trip, however, it's that I've always been around churches, or religious communities of some kind or other. I cannot, in fact, remember a time when I wasn't. One of my earliest life memories is standing on a pew, so I'd be closer to the height of my mother and father, and singing with them and the rest of the congregation: "O happy day, O happy day, when Jesus washed my sins away." This was before I could even read. I had no idea what I was singing, but had fun doing it.
Cut to last Sunday, and I was standing with those of you who were here as we sang "Blessed Spirit of my Life, give me strength through stress and strife...Help me live my wordless creed as I comfort those in need."
There have been a lot of miles, literal and metaphorical, between those two songs and two settings; but there's still a common thread. I've had a lifetime to observe what it is that brings people to churches, or religious communities, across a very wide spectrum of belief and practice. Even now I don't completely know what it is that brings people to religious communities. I've picked up a few things, but some of it remains a mystery. Even to this day it's never all that far from my conscious mind whenever I get up to lead a Sunday service that nobody that's sitting in front of my actually has to be here. Well yes, they may have a commitment they've made, or obligation they've taken on, for that particular Sunday, like teaching a class, or attending a committee meeting after the service, or helping out with an after-service activity. But, looking at the big picture now, nobody is forced to be a part of the whole scene here - and nobody is made to feel guilty or inadequate if they're not.
I did get some language - sociological language in this case - about the mystery of why people seek out religious communities back in the late 1980s and early 1990s; just as my ministry here was getting underway. This was when the term "the third place" was being bandied about in sociology circles, and then worked its way into the more common vernacular in such books as Ray Oldenburg's The Great Good Place and Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone. The terms these folks, and others, were using are pretty self-explanatory really - no sociology degree, or a sociology course, is required to get it.
Your first place is your family - however broadly or narrowly defined. Taking the broad definition, your family is your primary set of relationships - usually spouse and children, but not limited to that. It's the people with whom you are primarily bonded, for whom you are primarily responsible, and to whom you offer your highest loyalty.
The Second Place is the workplace - where you have to go to make a living: The job you land, the career you pursue - that sort of thing. Need I say more? Most, if not all of you, know what a Second Place is. You spend a lot of time there.
Under the right and good kinds of conditions people can find a good deal of personal satisfaction and enjoyment in their First and Second Places. We know that's not always the case. It is a sobering reality that not all families or workplaces are happy places. But more of them are than are not, I would think.
But however much, or little, people get from their First and Second places, most of us look for a Third Place. The Third Place is one you seek out. It doesn't have the same kinds of "givens" as the family First Place; or the same kinds of obligations as does the workplace Second Place. But it can become a very important place of its own, and can come to foster a high level of loyalty and commitment. The Third Place is where you go when seeking some greater dimension of meaning in your life; where you go for a greater sense of engagement; where you find a wider range of human contact than in your first or second; where you find a greater sense of welcome. It's not meant to replace, or somehow trump, your First and Second places. At its best the Third Place encompasses your First and Second Place and also moves beyond them.
Those sociologists I was just talking about tend of speak of The Third Place in mostly civic terms - volunteer organizations, Lions Clubs, Rotary Clubs, local political efforts, or social groups, community theaters; things like that. Some of them, like Robert Putnam, are concerned that this kind of civic involvement and interaction is on the wane - hence his metaphoric title Bowling Alone - as contrasted with being in a league, say. But they don't say a whole lot about religious organization, though. So I will.
When I first heard the terms First, Second and Third Places, and had them explained, I immediately thought of my parents and my family of origin. While neither of my parents had ever heard of the term, the church was their Third Place. My late father with his eighth grade education, worked very hard as a house painter to provide for his family. My still going strong mother stayed home and raised four children, getting by - often scraping by - on what my father was able to earn. My father took a lot of pride in his work. My mother was devoted to her children. Both of them were proud of the family they were raising. But they needed a Third Place - and for them that was their church.
My father was named a Deacon, and that gave his life an elevated sense of accomplishment and respect. It gave his life an even higher purpose. Every day of the week he put on clothes that smelled of paint and went off to his work. But on Sunday he wore a suit, and was Mr. Edington, Church Deacon. It gave his First and Second places an even greater depth.
My mother was, for a great number of years, the Church Clerk. She kept the records. This too, elevated her life above and beyond all of its day to day demands and struggles. Like my father, she was in a setting where she played an important role and was much depended upon and greatly respected. So with all due respect to those who coined the term, I knew about Third Places over 60 years ago.
As I indicated earlier, theologically and religiously speaking I'm now light years away from the setting I've been describing. But one thing I've never let go of is the idea of religious communities - with all their human flaws and shortcomings - as Third Places. Which finally gets me to my Open House Sunday message: "Could This Be Your Third Place?" For those of you, and I know there are many of you here, who have already answered "yes" to this question, I hope you can still stick around for several more minutes while I speak to those who still may be mulling it over. This is the Sunday when we especially invite persons who may wish to learn more about a faith tradition that goes by the eleven syllable name of Unitarian Universalism; and for whom a UU congregation just might be their Third Place.
If you are checking us out this morning you might think, well the "community" part sounds pretty good, but I'm not sure about the "religion" part. I can tell you the question does get raised now and then about whether or not we really are a religious community. I occasionally get an e-mail message by way of our website that will say, "Dear Rev. Edington: How can you even call yourselves a religion when you don't believe in..." This is usually followed by a recitation of all the things the person making the post does believe in. The thing that tickles me a bit is when I get the reverse angle on that one with a note that says, "Wow, this is great; you've got a religion going that not really a religion!" From both ends of the spectrum there's an assumption about what religion is or is not. What those on either end are not quite seeing is that we are not an alternative to religion as such. What we offer is an alternative understanding of what religion is, and how is it lived out.
As you've seen right here, we behave like a religious body - one in the Protestant tradition, that is. We gather on Sunday mornings in a house of worship - and a pretty traditional looking one at that; but with no traditional religious symbols (more on that in a minute).We have a Sunday School for our children and young people. We celebrate the joys and milestones of our lives and attend to one another's losses, pains, sorrows, and concerns. And we even put forth sermons. Beyond what you see here we act like a religious community as well: We have social events, discussion groups, meditation and spiritual growth groups; along with committees and a governing board and all those types of things that most churches have and do.
One difference, though, is that we do not ask those coming into our community to sign on to a pre-determined, pre-scribed set of beliefs as a price of admittance - which gives rise to some of those website messages I just mentioned. For us, you see, religion is much more of a verb than it is a noun. One of our more gifted ministers, who recently passed away, left us with a definition of religion that has become something of a mantra for us. His name was Forrest Church; he was the son of the late US Senator, Frank Church. Forrest said that religion "is our human response to the dual reality of being alive and knowing that we will die." That's a typically wordy UU way of putting things, but it's also quite accurate.
Religion is about how we respond to our awareness of being alive, to our awareness of having a precious and fragile life, and knowing that this precious and fragile and holy life will not be ours forever. It is with this understanding that I can, without hesitation, invite you to a gathering here of a religious community. For what we seek to offer is a setting where you may pursue personal wholeness, where you may pursue a relationship with that which is greater than yourself whatever you feel it to be, where you may discover and then attend to the things you care most deeply about in this time-bound life we're given.
Have you ever been on an airplane where there's a layover at an airport and you're staying on the continuing flight? Sometimes, in that situation, the captain or flight attendant will say "For those of you who are continuing on with us our ground time here will be brief." I would submit to you that truer words have never been spoken. For we who are in the midst of our life travels our ground time here is indeed brief. How we live our ground time and what kind of a more just and safe and peaceful world we leave for those whose ground time outlasts ours, is what the religious and spiritual journey is all about. It's what the dance of life is all about. You're invited to come and join the dance.
I said earlier we have no prescribed set of beliefs and we display no traditional religious symbols. This hardly means we have no beliefs or convictions. Our belief is that as you take part in the dance of a liberal religious community - as it becomes your Third Place - you will discover and live out those things - those ideals, principles, and values you hold most dear and that will make you ground time most meaningful. What we do offer and affirm is a set of Seven Principles - a Statement of moral and ethical affirmations. They are in the insert to your Order of Service for today. These are the values we hold in common. These are the humanistic goals we pursue together. What we leave to the individual is the personal set of beliefs that lead him or her to these affirmations.
Let me quickly touch on the two biggest questions I get from those inquiring about us. Not surprisingly, they are about God and Jesus. You probably will not hear the name "God" invoked in a UU service as much as you will in a more traditional worship setting. That will vary from one UU congregation, and from one UU minister, to another. This is not because we've ruled the term "God" out - although some of us do not relate to it. But rather it's because God means different things to different ones of us.
Few of us understand God to be a Supernatural Supreme Being who can intervene in human events or in the workings of nature; like, say, diverting a hurricane or making a cancer disappear. But many of us do believe in, or sense the reality of, a force or power or presence that is greater than ourselves, and that is both within and beyond us. Some of us call it the Spirit of Life - about which we sing here every Sunday - others call it the Life Force, others call it God, others stay away from names altogether. It is how we find and live in a greater relationship with one another, and with whatever we may sense that Larger Reality to be, that is more important to us than the terminology we use.
Now, about Jesus. I did say that our behavior, our way of being as a religious community, is like that of many churches or religious bodies in the Protestant Christian tradition. That is because our historical roots are in that tradition. The 16th century Protestant Reformation remains one of the most defining events in the history of the Western World, and we are a product of that multi-faceted event, or series of events. But we no longer regard ourselves as a definitively Christian body, even though some of our congregations maintain a liberal Christian identity. The person of the human Jesus does remain with us, but as one part of a much larger mix.
It was one of our Unitarian ancestors, a fellow named Thomas Jefferson, who drew a distinction between what he called the religion of Jesus and the religion about Jesus. The religion of Jesus has to do with the life and teachings of Jesus and Nazareth - as best we can discern them through all the mist and uncertainties that surround the accounts of his life. This religion of Jesus is actually a universal one, centered around a loving God, and one that held forth the principles of love, justice, compassion, and healing. These are some of the same principles and values that find expression in those Purposes and Principles you see before you.
By contrast, the religion about Jesus is the doctrines and the dogmas that later became attached to his life. I'm working my way right now through a book called Jesus Wars. It's not so much new information for me as it is a reiteration of just how horribly and hideously bloody it got at times in the battles that were fought, and the wars that were waged, to define who the "real Jesus" was. It was terrible enough at times that I have to believe that if Jesus could have actually seen all the blood that's been shed over who he "really" was, he may well have wondered why he even bothered to show up.
Be that as it may and was, and at times tragically still is, I feel right in saying that all UU congregations and their members try to live out the life and teachings Jesus exemplified whether or not his name is ever invoked. As noted, we regard Jesus as one of many great teachers of humanity - Moses, Buddha, Muhammad are among the many others - who tried to call us to our higher and better selves; and who tried to show us the ways of love, justice, and compassion for our fellow human beings; and who taught us to care for this fragile planet upon which we live our ground time as well.
We are a religious community and we are a human community. We try to live out the best in humankind - knowing that we sometimes fall prey to the flaws and failings that human beings are prone to. Sometimes we have to pick ourselves up and move on, trying to get a little closer to the vision we share.
I'd like to leave you with a meditation by one of our now retired ministers, the Rev. Richard Gilbert called "We Bid Your Welcome." They speak well to the message we are seeking to offer today - and to the message we hope we put forth whenever we gather in what has become a Third Place for so many. And so it's just not me saying the words, I'd like you take your hymnals and turn to selection #442 so we can say it together.
Then let's sing our closing hymn - "As Tranquil Streams that Meet and Merge."
Stephen Edington
October 2, 2011
